In my earlier years I was very rigid, believing that the progression of events and the scape of life was a straight, black and white line. No room for error, no room for adjustment. I threw myself into the belief that a misstep or a missed step on my perceived sequence to something (sometimes I’m not quite sure what it was) would throw my entire universe into a terrible imbalance. But the longer I kept trekking along, the more I noticed patterns, and connections in the universe. How the concept of time, when applied in its most natural form, is always upon us; always changing, always leaving and always coming. You realize that the straight line shifts and curves; you see a circle for a while, and then you realize that it’s just a massive jumble of nothingness and everything-ness that creates a quantifiable portion of eternity; fleeting, ever connected, and easier to navigate than it might appear at first glance.
Now this isn’t exactly scientific, this is my abstract interpretation of the “progression” of time in relation to living life as aware as possibly. My interpretation of time made me loosen up and appreciate more. From my own abilities, to the beauty of the space around us.
Last week I moved up onto The University of Kansas’ Daisy Hill with my notebooks and pens, sweaters and pillows, and yesterday I started classes and began my journey as a college student.
As I made the long trek to my classes and floated between new buildings, new classes, and new people I was strangely at ease. For as long as I can remember, here is where I had wanted to be; my favorite furthest thing to think about was leaving and going to college, and here I am. And being here has reinforced my belief that everything is an arbitrary mesh of squiggly happenings.The sway and scent of academia familiar, the hustle of buzzing beings operating near to my frequencies comforting, the sweat and chill of environmental unpredictability; all of these experiences curved so closely to one another that it I can feel the familiar light buzz of the experiences no longer touchable and the ones that I am floating towards. And I hope that that as I continue through this chunk of my eternity, some part of me will always have this buzzing idea of time and space tucked away in my body. Pushing me on, pulling me towards. Always a kinetic being, changing and staying. Moulding and being moulded. Part of the concept and plan. Universe within universe.